10 Days of Halloween: Day 2 – Costumes to Make You Proud

Hello ghouls and monstrosities! 

It’s that time of year again – Halloween! 

I will be posting ten posts all about Halloween, counting up to the night itself! 

Comment below, follow me and enjoy! 

Muhahahahaha 

SanMo - Halloween - Pumpkin - JackoLantern 7

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Yeah, I realize that Halloween is the time of the year where women and girls everywhere can wear next-to-nothing and “get away with it” (See Mean Girls). 

 

And while I celebrate any time a woman can dress how she wants, be as sexual as she wants and generally take ownership of her own body … I feel like costumes like Sexy Hamburger and Sexy Crayola Crayon are more to do with the preconceived notions of how women are supposed to dress in order to appeal (sexually) to heterosexual men, as opposed to dressing in order to appeal to ourselves. Also – I grew up where October is a cold month – like, my Angel costume in the second grade had to be pulled over a snowsuit. For reals. 

The problem of course is that nowadays, if you’re a girl, it’s becoming harder and harder to find costumes that aren’t all about the sexy-version-of-a-thing-or-person-or-animal. No seriously, go look. Whatever happened to costumes that were scary? Thank the Goddess for Zombie Walks – where women can wear a velour track suit and paint themselves up to be the undead! Also, since you’re probably wondering – yes, there are sexy zombie costumes. Here’s a money saving tip for those who want to be a sexy zombie – use last year’s sexy purple people eater costume and then buy fake wounds and blood and there you have it! Without the hefty price tag! 

Sigh. 

Okay, but say you are so done with the sexy trend – say you want to use Halloween to be something scary or just dress up as someone or something else. What kind of options do you have?

Well … How about …

Something (or someone) Scary 

How about the Woman in Black? You know her story – either from the original book by Susan Hill or the movies made about the book. Without giving many spoilers away, she is a revenant that haunts an estate in the marshes and the village nearby, the locals claiming that a vision of her precedes the death of a child. As far as scary, let’s face it – ghosts strike something so unimaginably terrifying in us that you can’t help but feel a tingling in your spine whenever you hear a good ghost story. Added to that is the cultural connotations embedded in mourning periods and women in general and you have a wicked Halloween costume perfect for Halloween. Or just to wear around the house if you, too, live in an isolated estate, so that you can scare the local villagers and give the mailperson a heart attack … heh  heh 

I personally have no fear of clowns. I read It and watched the adaptation, but clowns don’t strike fear in me like they do for others. That being said – there is a plethora of creepiness to clowns sometimes and Halloween is a great time to explore that. These are the things that are supposed to bring you many laughs, animal shaped balloons and jokes involving big feet and small cars. There is something creepy in perverting that so that the exaggerated smile had pointy teeth and the Krusty the Clown laugh suddenly turned maniacal. Right?

Before Vampires became sparkly, they were scary. Sometimes deadly and romantic, but still with that core of eternal damnation, brute strength and amorality that made them scary. The brilliant bit is that a vampire costume is essentially, whatever you have in your closet + good makeup and fake teeth. You can channel your inner Druiscilla from the Buffy universe, or Lestat from the Vampire Chronicles, or hell, even one of the black-eyed chilly bits that runs around Barrow Alaska in the 30 Days of Night series. There is something about the vampire as a scary character that makes sense – and creepy sense at that. Tragic, maybe. Forlorn, lonely, bloodlusting – whatever, but also quite scary. 

My favourte supernatural creatures – Werewolves. Or were-anything, though I like the wolves for my own reasons. Scary on many levels – you have the fact that the werewolf is both wholley human and wholley not – and the “not” part is fundamentally scary because it implies an “otherness” that is out of our control. Further, whether it’s a curse, a hereditary genetic condition or from a bite/scratch/sexual encounter – there’s an element of severe change, unwanted in most cases and deeply terrifying – echoed in movies like The Fly and other body horror movies, where mutating bodies evoke feelings of severe discomfort and repulsion. So – don’t channel your inner Jacob, channel your inner Wolfman, savvy?

As a last note for this subject … whatever this is – totally scary, totally doable for Halloween! 

Something (or someone) Pop Cultural 

For those of us who loved the 90s – I give you the best FBI agent ever : Scully. No, seriously. Even my esteem for Olivia Dunham can’t eclipse my respect and love for Scully. Intelligent, critical, with those great one-liners and man, that woman knew how to throw shade. Brilliant character that I totally support bringing back for Halloween. And you know Scully would roll her eyes at the mere mention of sexy Halloween, right guys? Right? 

More for those who loved the 90s! My favourite demon ass-kicker: Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer. Even better – do you remember how great the 90s and early 00s fashion was on this show? Brilliant – like huge turtle necks and jean overalls and those elastic chokers and glitter! Really, guys – bring out those red leather pants and chunky heels you’ve been saving up, pair it with a silver cross necklace and a leather jacket, throw in a pointy stake (with the label “Mr. Pointy”) and you’re well on your way to quirky one-liners and deeply complicated female characters with a knack for making up words that stick around. Also – metaphors! Many metaphors! Seriously guys, Buffy. 

Leslie Knope (as Rosie the Riviter) made my heart melt when I first saw this episode of Parks and Recreation. Seriously – two iconic women in one! So awesome! We have Leslie who is beyond awesome, with her Galentines Day (where you celebrate your best gridlfriends, usually with waffles) and her unending optimism and reverence of Hilary Clinton and Michelle Obama, and then you add such an iconic American image as Rosie the Riveter – I mean, guys – this is perfect. So perfect. You can do it, ladies, you can do it! 

Excuse the image – I wanted to put up one of Olivia Pope being a gladiator, with her white hat and those long leather gloves she wore last season that were simply gorgeous, but then I saw this image from the Hollywood Bowl Halloween party last year and I had to post it, I just had to. Even if it is sexy in a way … to some people. I myself and hoping Olivia drops Fitz for Jake, or actually, if I am honest with myself, for the presidency for herself. Right? Right. However, Olivia Pope is a gladiator in the modern arena, a deeply flawed female protagonist who is all kinds of fun to watch – she definitely holds a spot on the “People I want to be on Halloween” list. With or without white hat. 

Something (or someone) Inspiring 

Gloria Steinam and Dorothy Pitman Hughes – a classic, if you ask me, but more importantly, relevant and awe-inspiring. Who wouldn’t want to be such pillars of feminism? And the image I found is of two adorable children, but you could totally pull this off – some 1970s glasses and bell bottoms are also a must. As well as an understanding of the statistics regarding things like equal pay and gender discrimination, as well as racial inequality and sisterhood!  

Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama or the Notorious RBG. Women in powerful positions – politics, the law, the white house, whatever. All women we need to start leaning in or propping up or whatever other sayings there are that mean supporting other women. Seriously – support your fellow woman. Period. And besides – who wouldn’t want to be any of these women? They’re intelligent, they’ve made their way in the world and they’re suave – they don’t need mini skirts, they need political equality and they fight for it! Rawr! 

Basically what I am saying is this: Broaden your horizons! Stop with the Sexy Pizzas and embrace the myriad of possibilities in the world around you – be punny, be inspiring, be downright terrifying – but please stop being mindlessly sexy for the purpose of gratifying straight male approval – really

For more inspiration check out:  Amy Poelher’s Smart Girls Post here,  Buzzfeed’s Feminist Costumes List here and some a video on why girls dress sexy on Halloween on the Stuff Your Mother Never Told You Youtube Channel. 

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